I have come to the conclusion that as one heads into one’s dotage it is often more fulfilling to do something rather than spectate. There will come a time when spectating is all I can do but in the meantime I think, active rather than passive.
This is the beauty of singing. I can do something, not overly energetic, people do listen and occasionally they enjoy it and applaud. They can also say nice things about you which naturally makes you feel very good indeed. People can be critical but its normally constructive criticism which is no bad thing.
However, this is not the real joy of singing or in fact the real joy of doing anything remotely creative. In the film ” Chariots of Fire” Eric Liddell has an argument with his sister about his decision to pursue his ambitions in running. He says “….when I run I feel God’s pleasure”. I must make a point of saying quite clearly, that I do not believe in God but I understand what he means. There have been a number of occasions ( not nearly enough) when I have sung really well. I know I’ve nailed it, the audience are in raptures and my mother and wife have smiled and have even admitted to other members of the audience and that I am their son/husband. That’s when I feel true joy and it’s priceless. The chance of feeling like that is what continues to make me want to perform. My deepest wish is to try and get that feeling from the other things I do.